Should Christmas Gifts Be A Reward?

I was reading the UK version of the magazine Psychologies earlier this week and there was a question answered that I would like to share with you.

Here's an excerpt from the article titled 'How Much Is Too Much?'

Q Should Christmas gifts be a reward for good behaviour or good marks at school?

A Exchanging gifts at Christmas is one of the few rituals we have left and it shouldn't be carried out on a conditional basis. There are many situations more suited to disciplining children or rewarding good behaviour than a day of celebration. Christmas is a day to come together as a family and it's wiser to use this situation to teach a child about the pleasure of giving and receiving.

I agree with that viewpoint. What are your thoughts?


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

Christmas - The Ultimate Gifts For Your Kids

Christmas + Children = Consumer Consumption

I have written about this topic before but with Christmas just around the corner, I think we need reminding.

Our kids don't need their bedroom or playroom to look like a toy store, I know that. But it is hard to fight the concept the marketers sell us - happiness and spending are linked. That material goods equal a more enjoyable life. When I go shopping and spend money I get a buzz; a retail fix. That's why it's called retail 'therapy'. But it's only temporary. The fix goes away again pretty quickly. Sound familiar?

In the bigger scheme of things, what are we teaching our children about consumerism and its effect on the environment? That it's ok to buy lots of new things, as long as we recycle the old stuff?

Happiness does NOT lie in excess. Christmas is about enjoying time together. Make a budget and stick to it. Don't be sucked in by advertisers that you are not providing enough for your children if they don't have the latest Nintendo DS, video games, talking robots or dancing dolls. It doesn't make you an inadequate parent.

In fact, psychologists believe a child can end up feeling that a constant stream of presents is the most reliable way of showing love or feeling valued. If this happens they will lose the ability to draw a distinction between affection, money and gifts.

I would like to emphasise the point that I am not saying to have a gift-free house this year. Just take a step back and remember to teach your children that Christmas is about coming together as a family.

Give the ultimate gifts this year. You. Your time, affection and attention.


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

Top Tip for Working Mums

Recently I received one of those e-mails that had been forwarded by a friend. With over 100 e-mails coming in every day, I usually delete them immediately as most of them are jokes. For some reason however, I opened this one and I just knew I was being reminded by the universe...I just had to share it with you because us working/business owning mums need to be reminded occasionally.

Here it is:

A small child asked his mother at the end of her long day how much she earned per hour. She was tired and his question made her cross, but she said $50. He then asked if he might borrow $25 from her. This made her very cross and she sent him upstairs to think about it. After she had calmed down, she went up and relented, offering him $25. This was his reaction:

“Oh, thank you Mummy!” he yelled. He reached under his pillow and pulled out some crumpled up bills.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ his mother asked, exasperated.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” he replied. “Mummy, I have $50 now. Please can I buy an hour of your time?”

Please don't forget what is most important. S/he is probably in front of the TV right now. Go find them and give them what they want the most - YOU.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

Breast or Bottle Feeding - The Great Debate

I am a member of an online forum for mothers and the founder of the website began a discussion around breast and bottle feeding.

Many women commented on the topic and almost all of the mums who are bottlefeeding expressed their disappointment, guilt and sadness at *having* to bottle feed. A few of the breast feeding mums made it clear they find those who are bottle feeding have let their babies down as most breast feeding issues can be overcome. Apparently.

Anyway. Here is my comment:

Oh my, how interesting reading all the comments. I find it incredibly sad to read that the mums who are bottle feeding feel so guilty and upset and disappointed with themselves. How awful to feel that way.

Firstly I would like to acknowledge that yes, breast is best (nutritionally) for baby. Most mothers know that. However, my opinion is that the topic has become far too controversial and AGAIN mums are being made to feel as though they can't get it 'right'. (sigh)

When are we going to let up on ourselves?

Motherhood and life in general isn't black and white and mums who are bottlefeeding (whether it was through choice or not) should NOT be judged or in ANY way made to feel bad.

We are intelligent women and we can make our own choices. That does not give us the right to judge others for their decisions.

As long as Mum is happy then baby will be happy. There shouldn't be any more to this topic than that.


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

6 Steps to Writing Your History - Final Word

If you have particpated in the 6-step course to Writing Your History, then congratulations for completing it!

We all have friends, family and colleagues who enrich and impact on our lives. The exercises should have given you some insight as to why you have chosen the to hang out with the people currently around you. You should know why you are choosing to act (or react) the way you do.

Only once you are armed with this knowledge about yourself can you choose to change. They're only habits that need to be changed.

And remember, as Oprah said, "As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around."

© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

6 Steps to Writing Your History - Step 6

In this brand new series I have put together, I have lead you through exercises each week that should have helped you revisit your past and identify key moments and experiences. After participating in the final step, let me know how you have got on.

A memory will have stayed with you since childhood or adolescence because it's likely that there are powerful emotions connected to it.

Here is your final step (6):

Decades

Describe yourself aged 10, 20, 30 and so on, up until the present. What did you look like? What was your main ambition? Who was your best friend? How would you describe your personality?


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.

6 Steps to Writing Your History - Step 5

In this brand new series I have put together, I will lead you through exercises each week that will help you revisit your past and identify key moments and experiences. When we acknowledge the past it can set us free and enable us to live more in the moment.

Step 5:

Finding Forgiveness

Write a letter to yourself focusing on anything you need to forgive yourself for. Be kind and compassionate and resist the temptation to be judgemental. Write as if you might be writing to your inner child. You wouldn't criticise or be harsh with a child would you?


© 2009 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.

Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.