When was the last time you tried something for the first time?
Most of us are afraid of trying something new for fear of failing. We don't want to look silly or incompetent in front of our friends, family, even our children. We pass on Zumba class. We take a rain check on Sing Star nights with the girls. And we use a number of excuses to justify our actions: too busy, no babysitter, lack of budget.
Trying something new opens up a world of possibilities and opportunities. Doing the same thing each day - meeting the same people, eating at the same restaurant, working in the same office - gets boring and lacks challenge after a while. Seek fresh opportunities and ideas and don't be afraid to take on new projects that come your way.
Although I wrote a special report about breaking out of your comfort zone (which you receive when you sign up for our newsletter) we forget to try new things regularly. It's probably time to shake things up a little. It just takes one little step.
Hesitant to sign up for an online course on a topic you want to know more about? Go for it! Not only will you gain knowledge on this topic but you will also find out about how distance education works. You may also learn something about yourself - you're not as intimidated, introverted or incapable as you thought you were.
Aim to try something different every week. It doesn't have to be a big thing. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you discover.
© 2009 - 2011 90 Degree Coaching Ltd. Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie's monthly 'Success Strategies for Women' ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.
Mums, I know you are striving for MORE in your life, but you're not able to put your finger on exactly what it is you are looking for. Or maybe you know what you want, but don't know how to get there. Or you know how to get there but lack the belief in yourself. Together we will get you there. Here (on this blog) and now is a good place to start. I hope in reading this, you feel validated, understood, supported and encouraged. I'm sure you are a fabulous Mum.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, September 30, 2010
School Hol Diary - Day 5
Today I had a lot of work I needed to get done before the weekend but I did hire a couple of guys with chainsaws to prune and shape our trees out back which the kids enjoyed watching!
Before: After:
During: The kids from next door came over to watch what was happening!
Ben had concerns over his treehut, but has plans to extend it and build a bridge from it
to the next tree. Dad will be busy this summer, I think!
School Hol Diary - Day 4
We can make huts out of anything! Day 4 of the school holidays and it was raining so indoor play (mess) begins : )
Great for their imagination to make creations out of every day objects.
The rain got steadily worse so while 12 month old Harry had his lunchtime nap Ben and I had a special movie date - popcorn, fizzy drinks, biscuits, lollies - not a 'boring' sandwich in sight! I lit the fire, we pulled the curtains shut so it was dark and just like at the theatre, the surround sound was up loud!
So lovely to snuggle up together, just the two of us.
What are you getting up to during the school holidays?
Why Do We Need Goals?
Some of my clients come to me not knowing what they want. While they are leading their lives, something just doesn't feel quite right. Sometimes, it's just that they don't see the choices that are sometimes right in front of them. Other times I have to find out an underlying issue, work on that and then guide them towards the outcome they desire. But with all my clients, we analyse the gap between where they are now and where they want to be and together we build a bridge that helps them get to their goal.
Why do we need goals?
You wouldn't begin a journey without planning the best route to get to your destination, would you? Without goals you are drifting and when you drift you are not in control. If you are not in control, then someone else is. You have relinquished your basic right to shape your own future. And in doing this, you also surrender your freedom of action which restricts your choices and can lead to furstration, anxiety, fear and stress.
Where do I start?
Stephen Covey says to "Begin with the end in mind" so figuring out what you want is the first step. That's precisely where we start on the first morning of our 'Time for Change' workshop series for Mums. You have to really nail down exactly WHAT you want, otherwise you will waste time, energy and other precious resources being distracted along the way.
Join me and up to 6 other like minded Mums each Thursday for 6 weeks designing your life. Sign up here to get the full scoop.
© 2009 - 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd. Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie's weekly 'Success Strategies for Women' ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz. Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
School Hol Diary - Day 3
A cold, grey Spring morning took us out to visit the Dunedin Botanic Gardens where my intention was to show 12 month old Harry real, live ducks...but for the most part there were none! Wrong time of year to go - they are all off sitting on their eggs or looking after their ducklings. Just a few more weeks and we may re-visit to see how the ducklings are coming along.
Here's a pic of 'Big' Harry, my Harry, Grace and my Ben
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Here's a pic of 'Big' Harry, my Harry, Grace and my Ben
PlayGround Battles Between Mums - Time For Change
Competition among mothers is nothing new, particularly for modern mums it seems. And I don't know about you, but clients of mine are exhausted by it. What we view - and maybe naively so - as the most natural job in the world has become incredibly complex and it appears to be getting worse. We seem to be uplevelling our expectations and skills on a daily basis. We compare and compete all the time yet when asked if we particpate, we deny it outright. If none of us think we are doing it, then where does this competitive divide come from?
Hazel Gaynor, a journalist for the Irish Independent writes, "I have a sneaking suspicion that while we all pretend to show disdain to 'those mothers' who ask you how old your boy is and then inform you with too much glee that their little boy had been walking for six months by that stage, we are all on high alert for a snippet of information which will prove that we are doing the better job."
Personally I encountered this type of competitiveness in the UK from the mothers in my antenatal group. We got together after the babies were born a few times, but I couldn't sit there and join in their conversations. It was all baby-focused and about whose baby was sitting unaided, clapping hands and saying 'dada'. It slowly ate away my confidence in my ability as a mother. As for my experience in NZ, I haven't joined any groups for new mums, so I can't comment...but my clients tell me it's not too different.
I wonder just how many new mums walk away from baby or toddler groups feeling completely inadequate as mothers (like I did) just because their child can't work out the shape sorter?
The truth is we are all stumbling our way through motherhood - too scared to admit we may not be coping, that we may not be enjoying all of it, even the most monotonous and mundane bits, for fear that we look bad as mothers. So we pretend everything is great and then because we maintain this false reality, other new mums feel they need to too. Competing to be 'perfect' in this way is our way of feeling in control and successful.
I have become The Mum Coach to help mums that are experiencing the pressure of competitiveness and comparison. I help mums get back to trusting their own instincts and be reassured they are doing the best they can. I help them get to the point where they trust that their best is good enough. We can only do the best we can, with the resources we have.
Time For Change
For the FIRST time in New Zealand, I am running my bestselling workshop series (formerly titled Parents: Reclaim Your Life). Now Kiwi mums can get in on the act!
Here's what I share with you:
*my proven 3-step system to find out exactly WHAT it is you want
*what has to CHANGE so you stop wasting time on strategies that aren't working
*why "having it all" is a myth...and how you can work around it to get to that happy place
*top methods to successfully handling potentially awkward situations so you get the outcome you want
*secret confidence techniques to achieve the goals you set for yourself during the workshop
*how to improve your relationships (with your kids, partner and friends)
*my 3 grades of ME time...and how to achieve it without feeling selfish or guilty
It's starting Thursday 21st October 2010 and running for 5 Thursdays after that, with our last session being 25th November 2010.
To find out more sign up for our newsletter and tick the 'Workshops' box.
But hurry! We only take a maximum of 6 women each series!
© 2009 - 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.
Hazel Gaynor, a journalist for the Irish Independent writes, "I have a sneaking suspicion that while we all pretend to show disdain to 'those mothers' who ask you how old your boy is and then inform you with too much glee that their little boy had been walking for six months by that stage, we are all on high alert for a snippet of information which will prove that we are doing the better job."
Personally I encountered this type of competitiveness in the UK from the mothers in my antenatal group. We got together after the babies were born a few times, but I couldn't sit there and join in their conversations. It was all baby-focused and about whose baby was sitting unaided, clapping hands and saying 'dada'. It slowly ate away my confidence in my ability as a mother. As for my experience in NZ, I haven't joined any groups for new mums, so I can't comment...but my clients tell me it's not too different.
I wonder just how many new mums walk away from baby or toddler groups feeling completely inadequate as mothers (like I did) just because their child can't work out the shape sorter?
The truth is we are all stumbling our way through motherhood - too scared to admit we may not be coping, that we may not be enjoying all of it, even the most monotonous and mundane bits, for fear that we look bad as mothers. So we pretend everything is great and then because we maintain this false reality, other new mums feel they need to too. Competing to be 'perfect' in this way is our way of feeling in control and successful.
I have become The Mum Coach to help mums that are experiencing the pressure of competitiveness and comparison. I help mums get back to trusting their own instincts and be reassured they are doing the best they can. I help them get to the point where they trust that their best is good enough. We can only do the best we can, with the resources we have.
Time For Change
For the FIRST time in New Zealand, I am running my bestselling workshop series (formerly titled Parents: Reclaim Your Life). Now Kiwi mums can get in on the act!
Here's what I share with you:
*my proven 3-step system to find out exactly WHAT it is you want
*what has to CHANGE so you stop wasting time on strategies that aren't working
*why "having it all" is a myth...and how you can work around it to get to that happy place
*top methods to successfully handling potentially awkward situations so you get the outcome you want
*secret confidence techniques to achieve the goals you set for yourself during the workshop
*how to improve your relationships (with your kids, partner and friends)
*my 3 grades of ME time...and how to achieve it without feeling selfish or guilty
It's starting Thursday 21st October 2010 and running for 5 Thursdays after that, with our last session being 25th November 2010.
To find out more sign up for our newsletter and tick the 'Workshops' box.
But hurry! We only take a maximum of 6 women each series!
© 2009 - 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Post Natal - Debunking the Supermum Myth
You did it! Baby is born and home and everything is going great! Isn't it?
There is a huge hormone change which happens at the end of pregnancy and giving birth and the 'Edinburgh Test' is commonly used to check on Mums around six weeks after baby's arrival. It gives professionals (it's usually done by your midwife) a guage, if you will. The most important thing is that you are honest when you answer the questions. I lied when I became a mum because I didn't want my midwife to think I was a bad mother for not being totally overjoyed and enthusiastic about my new role. It doesn't make you a bad mother if you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
Most mums have the 'baby blues' after giving birth, but it's when the bad days start to outweigh the good that you need to chat to someone about how you are feeling. Don't ignore it, and don't let who you choose to talk to brush it off either. It's best to get a potential case of depression recognised sooner rather than later because if not dealt with, untreated depression can lead to permanent mental health problems.
The SuperMum Myth
Every mum battles with the supermum image...it's everywhere and particularly prominent in the media. We are bombarded with pictures of celebrity mums looking perfect and happy as they leave the hospital with their newborns. It's a MYTH. Those mums have nannies, night nurses, personal trainers, nutritionists, housekeepers, etc.
You may look around and see that "Sue" has it all under control and so you strive to be more like her. A week later, you fall apart wondering how she can do it and you can't. What we need to remember is that we all have different standards, different priorities and certainly different pressures. Scrubbing floors until they sparkle may be a priority for Sue, but for you it may be spending time on the floor, making your baby laugh for the first time or doing a puzzle with your 3 year old.
While that is easy advice to give, it's more difficult to take on. If you want help with your post natal adjustment period, give me a call. I'm not going to talk to you about breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding or settling baby to sleep. There are professional organisations available to help you with that. I am here to support you with the emotional side effects after becoming a mother.
Congratulations to all my wonderful Mum readers - I'm sure you are doing a great job!
© 2009 - 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd. Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie's weekly 'Success Strategies for Women' ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz. Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.
There is a huge hormone change which happens at the end of pregnancy and giving birth and the 'Edinburgh Test' is commonly used to check on Mums around six weeks after baby's arrival. It gives professionals (it's usually done by your midwife) a guage, if you will. The most important thing is that you are honest when you answer the questions. I lied when I became a mum because I didn't want my midwife to think I was a bad mother for not being totally overjoyed and enthusiastic about my new role. It doesn't make you a bad mother if you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
Most mums have the 'baby blues' after giving birth, but it's when the bad days start to outweigh the good that you need to chat to someone about how you are feeling. Don't ignore it, and don't let who you choose to talk to brush it off either. It's best to get a potential case of depression recognised sooner rather than later because if not dealt with, untreated depression can lead to permanent mental health problems.
The SuperMum Myth
Every mum battles with the supermum image...it's everywhere and particularly prominent in the media. We are bombarded with pictures of celebrity mums looking perfect and happy as they leave the hospital with their newborns. It's a MYTH. Those mums have nannies, night nurses, personal trainers, nutritionists, housekeepers, etc.
You may look around and see that "Sue" has it all under control and so you strive to be more like her. A week later, you fall apart wondering how she can do it and you can't. What we need to remember is that we all have different standards, different priorities and certainly different pressures. Scrubbing floors until they sparkle may be a priority for Sue, but for you it may be spending time on the floor, making your baby laugh for the first time or doing a puzzle with your 3 year old.
While that is easy advice to give, it's more difficult to take on. If you want help with your post natal adjustment period, give me a call. I'm not going to talk to you about breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding or settling baby to sleep. There are professional organisations available to help you with that. I am here to support you with the emotional side effects after becoming a mother.
Congratulations to all my wonderful Mum readers - I'm sure you are doing a great job!
© 2009 - 2010 90 Degree Coaching Ltd. Be the FIRST to receive more great tips like this and sign up for Kirstie's weekly 'Success Strategies for Women' ezine. All you have to do is sign up at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz. Kirstie Gillon-Wood is Director of 90 Degree Coaching Ltd., a company devoted to supporting women wanting to create independence, and achieve personal and professional success. You can learn more about Kirstie’s products and services at http://www.90degreecoaching.co.nz.
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