PlayGround Battles Between Mums - Time For Change

Competition among mothers is nothing new, particularly for modern mums it seems. And I don't know about you, but clients of mine are exhausted by it. What we view - and maybe naively so - as the most natural job in the world has become incredibly complex and it appears to be getting worse. We seem to be uplevelling our expectations and skills on a daily basis. We compare and compete all the time yet when asked if we particpate, we deny it outright. If none of us think we are doing it, then where does this competitive divide come from?

Hazel Gaynor, a journalist for the Irish Independent writes, "I have a sneaking suspicion that while we all pretend to show disdain to 'those mothers' who ask you how old your boy is and then inform you with too much glee that their little boy had been walking for six months by that stage, we are all on high alert for a snippet of information which will prove that we are doing the better job."

Personally I encountered this type of competitiveness in the UK from the mothers in my antenatal group. We got together after the babies were born a few times, but I couldn't sit there and join in their conversations. It was all baby-focused and about whose baby was sitting unaided, clapping hands and saying 'dada'. It slowly ate away my confidence in my ability as a mother. As for my experience in NZ, I haven't joined any groups for new mums, so I can't comment...but my clients tell me it's not too different.

I wonder just how many new mums walk away from baby or toddler groups feeling completely inadequate as mothers (like I did) just because their child can't work out the shape sorter?

The truth is we are all stumbling our way through motherhood - too scared to admit we may not be coping, that we may not be enjoying all of it, even the most monotonous and mundane bits, for fear that we look bad as mothers. So we pretend everything is great and then because we maintain this false reality, other new mums feel they need to too. Competing to be 'perfect' in this way is our way of feeling in control and successful.

I have become The Mum Coach to help mums that are experiencing the pressure of competitiveness and comparison. I help mums get back to trusting their own instincts and be reassured they are doing the best they can. I help them get to the point where they trust that their best is good enough. We can only do the best we can, with the resources we have.

Time For Change

For the FIRST time in New Zealand, I am running my bestselling workshop series (formerly titled Parents: Reclaim Your Life). Now Kiwi mums can get in on the act!

Here's what I share with you:

*my proven 3-step system to find out exactly WHAT it is you want

*what has to CHANGE so you stop wasting time on strategies that aren't working

*why "having it all" is a myth...and how you can work around it to get to that happy place

*top methods to successfully handling potentially awkward situations so you get the outcome you want

*secret confidence techniques to achieve the goals you set for yourself during the workshop

*how to improve your relationships (with your kids, partner and friends)

*my 3 grades of ME time...and how to achieve it without feeling selfish or guilty

It's starting Thursday 21st October 2010 and running for 5 Thursdays after that, with our last session being 25th November 2010.

To find out more sign up for our newsletter and tick the 'Workshops' box.
But hurry! We only take a maximum of 6 women each series!

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